if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
