yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
