Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
