I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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