The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
