just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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