hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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