My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize