Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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