I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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