We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
