Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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