the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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