She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
