I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
