Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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