Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize