Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
