so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
