Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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