I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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