he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize