God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
