Don't make out with my wife yet
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
