ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
