If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize