I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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