considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize