If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
