It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
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shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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