wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
