So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
