why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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