hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my being single is dangerous.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
