Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
