Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
