its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
