I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
