sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
