Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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