I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
