bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
