What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
