"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
