he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
