bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
