just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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