you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
