i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
