I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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