This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
