i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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