"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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