But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
