Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
