im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
